Who Invented Essays Tumblr

Life imitates art

Doctors are trained similarly in Canada and Sweden, they must apply for an advanced training called ‘medical school’.  Very similar to the hugely popular Grey’s Anatomy, students must complete vigorous testing and long hours studying to then endure deadly competition within hospitals.

Taxidermy

I know that “stuffed my face” is an idiom because you can’t really stuff anyone’s face, unless you are a taxidermist. 

Bible times

Now obviously, the human body has always been held in high regard, evidenced by the fact that prostitution has been around since the earliest of Bible times.

“Dictator”

Hitler was a facetious dictator.

Brains vs. Bronze

Why someone may choose to go to college is often a matter of athleticism vs. smarts, or more commonly known as brains vs. bronze.

Deeper question

The deeper question is - when meaning of language what meaning does it have? 

Way back

The existence of women goes way back, obviously and we are kinda important if you ask me.

Christopher Cocksucker

Christopher Columbus was cock-sucking Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand. This is how he discovered America.

Public Cervix Announcement

No parent wants to know their children practice some kind of sexual performance.

Song of Feeling Myself

Walter Witman is a narcissist who masturbates and overdoses on viagra.

How to Write a College Essay

In highschool, everyone was taught how to write an essay and were given a simple format. Most likely, you were taught that you should use a “hook” or interesting first sentence, to “draw the reader in.” This also means you were taught about the 5 paragraph format with an intro, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Forget it all. While that worked out well in high school, it doesn’t cut it for college level writing. 

  • First, remember that your teacher assigned the essay and most likely gave you the prompt. You don’t need a “hook” or interesting fact to start your paper off. They are going to read it anyways. However, your opening should be strong and immediately relay what you are going to talk about.
  • Thesis is key. Don’t think that all theses are created equal. They aren’t, so don’t use a formula or a skeleton to form one. 
    • Remember concise and to the point! The thesis is your argument and you refer back to it in your paper. 
    • If writing on a piece of literature, you don’t need the book title and author. That should be in your first sentence.
  • You don’t need 5 paragraphs! Half the time you don’t need a conclusion paragraph. All you need are a few sentences that strengthen and tie your points together. Too often conclusions are just repeating the material you JUST said.
  • It’s ok to have 2 paragraphs about one topic. You aren’t expected to fit that into just one section. If your paragraph is longer than a page, it’s not a paragraph. Split it up.
  • Write as much as you think is necessary. You’ll usually get assigned anything from 600 words to 1500. If you can argue a point with sources and quotes in 600 words, then props to you, but you’ll probably need more. However, don’t go off on tangents. If you need to fulfill the word count, look up sources to back your argument, or quotes from the book.
    • Please cite your sources. MLA is most generally used and you can learn how as well as have sites do it for you with a simple google search.
  • Language, diction, and grammar matter. If you have a lot of simple sentences with average vocabulary, you aren’t going to get an A. On the opposite spectrum, dense language and lengthy sentences won’t help either.
  • Stick to the point. Stick to the point. Stick to the point.
  • If by the end of your essay you don’t feel like you proved something or that your essay was clear, fix it.
  • Read over your essay the next day. Fix long and unnecessary sentences, fix spelling mistakes, and make sure you didn’t plagiarize. 
  • Essays are a way to showcase your knowledge and show you can think for yourself. So do it!
  • Peer editing helps so much. If you’re too embarrassed to have your friend read your essay, it isn’t good. Fix it.

And that’s just some of the advice I have for writing a good college essay. If you have any questions, just ask. If you need help starting an essay or figuring out a prompt, we’ll help as well. Happy writing!

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